First Bite Before First Light
by azure-rae09
Summary: What happens when Edward listens to the monster inside him.. and he bites Bella.
1. PREVIEW

**Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer**

I felt my hair tighten against my scalp in fear.

My heart stopped and my ears clicked. My muscles froze and my eyes stuck wide.

I searched for him in the dark but could only hear his breathing. I felt his cold lips graze my earlobe and drop to my shoulder.

I felt his breath tickle my jaw and I trembled with fear.

I heard a gasp and realized it was coming from my mouth and not a second later I felt his teeth pierce my skin on my neck.

My knees buckled and I dropped to the grass.

I felt the cold overtake me and felt my blood being drained from my neck.

I heard a sound louder than thunder, a huge crash, and felt myself being dropped on the moist grass.

I closed my eyes and felt something spreading through me, there was cold liquid on my neck and it was being spread through me. It became colder and colder, or hotter.

I couldn't tell the difference but it hurt and was getting more painful.

I was too scared to move at first but then couldn't help screaming.

I had thought I was on my lawn but I was now staring up at a white ceiling, I thrashed around. "

Make it stop! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" I just kept screaming.

It hurt so much, it hurt so much. Why was this happening to me?

I wanted to rip and tear through my skin and muscle and rip my heart out it hurt so much. I want to die; I wanted to die and rid of this pain that was swallowing me alive.

**A/N This is just a preview, should i go on?**


	2. Butterflies

Disclaimer- I do not own any of these character, they belong to Stephenie Meyer

The first week of school was slow and painful.

I mean, I was grateful that a lot of people seemed to want to know me, but this boy, he just hated me so much.

He didn't come right out and say it, he didn't say anything actually.

But it was his body language and the disgusted look on his face he would have when near me.

At first, I was really self conscience and pained.

But, then I became annoyed and angry at this stranger.

He didn't know me, what was his reason to hate someone he didn't know? Was I invading his space?

Well, sorry, Mister Cullen, didn't mean to get in the way.

But, all my thoughts would eventually just go back to me being sad that this beautiful creature didn't like me.

* * *

When I got home from school I sat on my bed and started my math homework.

I eventually got a headache looking at all these numbers and decided to go downstairs and take out something for Charlie's dinner.

My dad, Charlie has been really great.

Mostly keeps to himself, which is fine with me.

I'm not really one to talk it up a lot.

I put a package of chicken on the counter and went to search for some kind of seasoning to throw on it.

I found some garlic lemon seasoning and rolled the chicken around in it, put it in the fridge and went back upstairs.

I started thinking about the mysterious Cullen family again.

The kids at school had said they were all adopted, not all of them were biological siblings, so how did they all look so alike.

So pale and gorgeous.

Not one flaw, at all.

Every time I thought of Edward, the pale beautiful skin, the golden brown hair and the caramel eyes… I got an enormous amount of butterflies.

Great.

Feelings for someone I don't know, and better yet, someone who hates me.

**A/N I know its not really great, but this is my first attempt to write something in a long time. Stick with me.. Still think I should continue??**


	3. Fear

Disclaimer - I do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer

* * *

I woke in a cold sweat and kicked the sheet off of me. I turned over and the clock read 4:30.

I was so confused. I stepped out in the hallway and all the lights were off and I heard Charlie snoring.

Its 4:30 in the morning?

I must have fallen asleep.

I crept down the stairs, careful not too fall. I'm clumsy when the light is on, who knows what will happen in the pitch dark.

I reached the bottom step safely but, and slid into the hall on the area rug.

I caught myself on the stairs banister.

I carefully took the next needed steps into the kitchen and flipped the lights on.

I cracked open the fridge and saw the chicken I seasoned still sitting there.

And a box of pizza.

Well, at least I don't need to go to the market tomorrow.

I mean, today.

It was Saturday morning and I knew the garbage trucks came this morning so I thought instead of going back to sleep and waking up early enough, I would just put the bags out there now.

I zipped up my sweatshirt I had on already and slid on my boots by the door.

I carefully opened the door, so I wouldn't wake Charlie and waited a minute to adjust to the darkness.

I stepped off the doorway onto the walk way and tread across the lawn.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a white flash and froze.

After a minute I gasped and realized I had been holding my breath.

I looked around and only saw the black of night.

I walked faster to the sidewalk, careful not slip on the wet grass.

I dropped the bags and whipped back around and slammed into what felt like a brick wall.

I gasped and went to scream but nothing came out.

I was staring into the, very white, very angry, face of Edward Cullen.

I felt his hands crush my arms and whip me around. And he was gone.

I felt my hair tighten against my scalp in fear. My heart stopped and my ears clicked.

My muscles froze and my eyes stuck wide.

I searched for him in the dark but could only hear his breathing.

I then felt his cold lips graze my earlobe and drop to my shoulder.

I felt his breath tickle my jaw and I trembled with fear.

I heard a gasp and realized it was coming from my mouth and not a second later, I felt his teeth pierce my skin on my neck.

My knees buckled and I dropped to the grass.

His stone cold hands lifted me back up and I felt the cold overtake me and felt my blood being drained from my neck.

I heard a sound louder than thunder, a huge crash, and felt myself being dropped on the moist grass.

I closed my eyes and felt something spreading through me, there was cold liquid on my neck and it was being spread through me.

It became colder and colder, or hotter.

I couldn't tell the difference but it hurt and was getting more painful.

I was too scared to move at first but then couldn't help screaming.

I had thought I was on my lawn but I was now staring up at a white ceiling, I thrashed around.

"Make it stop! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!"

I just kept screaming. It hurt so much, it hurt so much.

Why was this happening to me? I wanted to rip and tear through my skin and muscle and rip my heart out it hurt so much.

I want to die; I wanted to die and rid of this pain that was swallowing me alive.

**A/N As you can see the preview i showed was from this chapter. I hope you liked it. I know you're dying to know what happens next. Review and you'll get the next chapter soon enough. :)**


	4. Not Yet Convinced

_Disclaimer- I do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer_

I had dreams of every horrible thing I have seen or heard of.

I felt the pain of scraping my knees from when I was little to slamming my fingers in a car door outside my old house with Renee. But soon enough these pains were drowned by the pain surrounding my body today.

It seemed a lifetime before I could take a regular breath or see clearly. The pain had slowed and completely eliminated.

I lied staring above me wondering if I had died or not.

" Bella? Its over. Can you hear me?" I snapped my head to the side and stared into a beautiful young face. A face of an angel.

" My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I have brought you here to my home. Did you understand any of the things I told you while you were changing?"

Changing? What is he talking about.

I slid off the bed I was on and felt as if I was a new person.

I felt like I was floating while I walked across the hard wood floor.

I walked back and forth testing my new gracefulness.

I felt light and airy.

But, quickly snapped back when I heard another person walk into the room.

Standing next to Dr. Cullen was Edward. Edward Cullen.

I stepped back in fear and my back slammed into a wall. I felt trapped and frozen.

Edwards face transformed into a painful look and I immediately felt as if I had caused it.

I went to speak but gasped at the sound I heard coming from my mouth.

" Where am I? What happened to me, Why do I sound like this? Where is Charlie!? Did you kill me? Did you kill him?!"

I heard myself getting louder and faster as I demanded my questions at them.

Carlisle waited until I finished. And remained calm and spoke softly as he did before.

" Bella, Edward lost control and bit you outside of your home. His sister, Alice, had informed me what he was doing and I made it right in time to see him.. Well.. Over you. I managed to slam into him and stop him. I raced you back to my home trying to explain to you what was happening but, the venom had already began spreading and you were into much pain to understand me.."

My mind raced. What was he telling me? What am I? What .. Venom?

"What..?" I could barely speak. "Bella, you are a newborn vampire." He whispered.

My head felt heavy and I slid to the ground.

I sat and stared at the hard wooden floor and waited for the tears to come to my eyes.

Nothing happened. Which made me angry. What the hell did they do to me? I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home..

I tipped myself and laid on the ground. My face pressed to the floor. Edward left the room like a blur. And Carlisle stood beside my head.

" Alice would like to come in and speak with you. If you don't mind?" he said.

I was so confused. I was convinced this was a nightmare. I was convinced this was a dream.

* * *

**A/N I know the chapters are really short. But, I havent been feeling really well at all this past week. They will be getting longer when i get better. But Ithought that writing somethinggg is better than nothing at all. Reviews please? Thanks**


	5. AUTHORS NOTE

Hey everyone, im really sorry that I havent updated. This week has been hell. School is suffocating me, and I havent been feeling well at all. I'm just so tired. I'm going to try and get a chapter up this weekend, so don't give up on me just yet. I'm so sorry. Thanks. -- Al


	6. Dry Tears

When I rose my eyes to meet Carlisle's, Alice had already taken his place.

I scrunched my forehead in mere annoyance, realizing that I would have to get used to that.

"Bella," Alice chimed, "I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I can't say that I know how you feel. I don't remember my human life. But I can sympathize and try and help you. I want to be your friend. Bella?"

I looked at her face, trying to grasp what she was saying.

"Thanks," is all I managed to say in my new foreign voice.

Alice folded herself next to me.

She lay her cheek on the floor beside me and studied my face.

"Are you thirsty yet?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "No." I said.

I'm not quite sure how long we laid there for.

I was thankful for Alice. She seemed very nice and I knew deep down, that if I let myself accept my new life, I would be great friends with her.

After awhile there was a light knock on the door and someone slipped in.

"Bella," Carlisle started, "I think it's time for you to start feeding. I wouldn't want you to get too thirsty and..lose control."

I mentally cringed at his lingering words.

Alice took my hand and led me up off the floor and down the two flights of stairs.

I was so amazed by me new grace. We entered a large room with glass windows as walls.

I quietly admired my surroundings when I heard a loud crack.

I whipped my hear to stare at a fox right outside the glass the wall.

A sudden urge came to me and then I could small, no, taste a most delicious, warm sensation through my body.

I bolted to the door and suddenly had this warm foxes throat at my mouth.

The warm liquid down my throat flooded my senses and I was at a rabbits hole before I knew it digging and clawing my way through the ground.

I could feel hands tugging my arms back.

I felt myself thrown into the air and crashed into the ground as I landed.

I jumped up startled at what I saw.

The Cullen family were all scattered thrown into the ground or into trees.

Loud cracking of tree trunks breaking from the force of their bodies.

What the hell just happened..? I felt my hand being grasped and looked down at the face of Alice.

She giggled at what I assume was my bewildered expression.

"I guess we all had a taste of what Bella's gift is, now didn't we?"

She said to her family who were in a loose semi circle around me.

With the exception of Edward.

I tugged my hand away from Alice and regretted it immediately due to the hurt look on her face.

I was so confused.

I wiped my face with my hand and felt the blood on my lips. I cried out and let myself fall to the ground.

"Why is this happening? I don't want to be a monster…I… I… I want.."

I felt cool arms around me and let Alice cradle me in her lap as I sobbed...dryly.

It made me even more hysterical not to have the tears I crave to feel.

Whatever thirst I had was gone due to the horror in myself.

I silently cursed Edward Cullen. Where was he anyways? He can't face me now? Is that it?

He caused this. He did this to me. Boy, what I would love to say to that… that… monster.

"Why did he do this to me…" I cried.

Alice shook her head slowly and looked at me.

"He couldn't control himself Bella. He lost control.. He's loathing himself as we speak. Edward can barely live with himself knowing what he has done to you."

"I don't care. I hope he hates himself. But he doesn't as much as I do I can assure you that!" I wailed.

I laid in Alice's stone cold arms until the gloomy day turned into night and she carried me into the house and up the stairs.

She brought me down to a leather couch and kneeled in front of me tracing my features with her small fingers.

"It will get easier Bella. I promise." She kissed my cheek and left the room.

I stared into the darkness in front of me as I felt myself be dragged deeper into my depression.

I stared all night until I heard the light tap at the door and watched the floor be lit from the light in the hallway.

"Bella, can I come in…?" asked Edward.

**A/N Hey everyone, sorry about the delay and short..everything. I am starting to feel better and things at school are slowing down. Expect more to read soon It may take a bit for the next chapter.. maybe ;) READ AND REVIEW THANKS**


	7. Acceptance

I gaped in disbelief at Edward Cullen. It took me a minute to grasp the fact that this monster was standing in my doorway.

Anger sunk in.

"What?" I asked through clenched teeth.

He kept his head down, but closed the door. He walked to the farthest wall away from me. I sat up and stared at him, waiting.

"Bella," he whispered. " I can't- I mean - I don't know how to start- I'm so sorry. I ruined your life, I turned you into a- I can't

even look at myself...live with myself." He stood there, head down but I could see his face contorted in an expression of

horrible pain. I felt the urge to go and comfort him. But fought back reminding myself that he did this to me. I stood up.

"Is that all?" I said with my arm extended, welcoming the exit. He looked up and sighed, as if frustrated. And shook his

head. "What?" I asked in annoyance, replying to his sigh. "What could **I **be possibly doing to bother **you**?"

Edward looked at me with a concentrated expression. I felt uncomfortable and would have blushed if I still had blood. I gave

him a look hard enough to make him answer with haste. "I can read minds. I mean, I hear what people are thinking."

"Good, then I guess I really don't need to share my feelings with you." I said with my lips pulled back in fury.

"No, well, I mean… I can't read you. I can't hear you… I don't understand it."

He said still studying my face. Still trying to get inside my hear. "Stop. It." I said, firm and hard.

"I don't want you in my head. Stealing my life isn't enough for you Edward?! You need steal my thoughts too?!" I screamed.

I was in his face. I don't even remember walking across the room, and I didn't care.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, and dropped his head. I again fought the urge to comfort him.

"You took everything from me…" I whispered this time with sadness. I looked to the ground and felt my body sagging.

Edwards arms reached out to catch me and I straightened back out from his touch, secretly wanting it again. Though I would

never admit these strange feelings. "Leave me alone…Leave me alone." I said loud and perfectly clear.

* * *

I watched the sunrise from my room. I sat and stared outside past the trees and let my mind wander about what I would be

doing now if I were still at Charlie's. I did that until I felt my body tensing and my throat burning with thirst. I fought this

urge until Alice danced through my door with her sister Rosalie. Tall, beautiful, perfect Rosalie.

"Bella, Rose and I are going to hunt. Maybe, you should join us." Alice said. I closed my eyes knowing I would have to. I've

spent too long denying myself. I need to accept this. I have to accept this. I stood up and faced my new sisters. "Lets go." I

attempted a smile that I could feel, and they knew, was sad and false. I let them lead the way down the stairs into the living

room. The Cullen's were all sitting and chatting. Emmett stood up with a big grin on his face. "Hey Bella. Have you been

testing out the new force shield you got there."

It took me a minute to remember the incident yesterday outside.

"I-I don't really know how," I replied.

I had a feeling I was going to be forced into what I knew was going to be very fun for Emmett, by the huge grin on his face.

**A/N okay, i know. Your mad because the chapters arnt getting longer. I'm so busy with school its not even funny. Being a junior means a lot of pressure to prepare for college. Patience please ") I really hope you like me enough to keep with me. Thank you for the reviews, you dont understand how much it means to me.**


	8. Feelings

Emmett put his big arm over my shoulder and guided me into the front yard. He turned my body so that I was facing him and

he backed up several yards away. "Go," he said. "What?" I asked. Do your thing. You obviously have some power of

defense.

Work your magic." he said with a smile. "I said that I didn't know how." Alice appeared beside me with Rosalie. "Try and feel

defensive, think hard…or don't think at all." she said. "It should feel natural," added Rosalie.

I put my hands out in front of me and pushed the air with a concentrated force. Nothing happened. Emmett then, crouched

down into an attack position and grinned. "Maybe you need some inspiration," he laughed. Emmett disappeared and I felt a

huge explosion into my body and flew into the ground. I sprung up, tense, in instinct. And looked for him again. I saw him

right before her crashed into me. My reflexes weren't any better then before this change of mine. I flew into a nearby tree

and fell to the ground with a thud. I sighed and ran with a speed that I wasn't yet familiar with towards Emmett. He dodged me easily.

Emmett and I played like this for hours while Alice and Rose looked on. Nothing was happening.

When we stopped at sat on the porch steps with my chin in my hands, feeling defeated and worn.

Alice put her small hand on my shoulder. "hey its alright Bella, we can figure this out. No problem." She assured me.

I was starting to feel thirsty again without all the distraction. I smelled so many animals around me.

I could feel Alice studying me while I looked around in the trees.

"I don't think newborns are suppose to be so in control like you." I looked at her and rolled my eyes.

"Oh yes I was totally in control with that fox the other day." I said.

"_The other day_," she said. "Newborns usually feed every few _hours_ Bella. You have hardly had anything. It's quite interesting."

She said the last sentence as if she was talking to herself.

"Oh yeah, real interesting."

I said under my breath. I sighed and stood up. I felt like if I didn't feed now, I would actually lose control soon.

So I walked human pace to the edge of the trees and looked for animals. With my new eyesight I didn't have to move much to see far.

I found rabbits, squirrels and a fox before returning to my new home.

I looked up at the font of the house in thought.

The front door opened and Esme walked down the front steps with a sympathetic smile.

"This is really hard for you Bella, I'm so sorry."

I smiled at her thankful for a maternal influence.

"It's not your fault. I-I-I don't know, I guess I'm getting used to it. I miss my family. Is there any-anyway I can see them. They think I'm dead Esme. Everybody must think I'm dead. Its killing me," I confided.

She was so easy to talk too.

Esme looked down at her hands and sighed.

"Bella, I know you have unnatural control for a newborn, but you could lose it around humans. You don't want to take that chance, killing your father? People you know..Bella, I'm sorry."

I looked up at the sky and if I could, I would have cried, I would have cried and sobbed until I ran out of tears.

I walked into the house and up the stairs at my newfound speed.

I closed my door and sat in my usual spot at the window and stared out at the now familiar view.

I was fighting the anger that wanted to boil over.

I wanted to hit and kick and break something.

I wanted to scream and…do something to let this anger out.

I got up again and walked to the door.

I could sense someone on the other side.

I looked down to the floor and saw a shadow from outside my door.

I thought it must have been Esme, maybe checking on me from my leaving her in the front yard.

I opened the door and was face to face with Edward. My eyes widened in surprise.

We looked at each other for a moment before I finally cleared my head enough to say, "Can I help you?"

He looked at me for second before answering and said, "Sorry, I was going to knock…I just…didn't."

I hesitated and then started to close the door but it stopped.

I looked down at Edwards foot blocking my way and I looked up at him more surprised than mad.

"_What are you doing_?" I asked.

"I need to say something to you, I don't know how to say it and your **not** making it any easier." he said in a frustrated tone.

I was taken aback from the way his voice turned dark.

He softened his face right away and sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so…impolite. I just need to talk to you."

"Edward, you already apologized. I don't think you _need_ to say anything else and I _don't_ want to be around you. So, leave me alone **please**."

I closed the door much strongly and forced his foot out of the way.

I turned around and leaned my back against the door.

I shuddered involuntarily and could still feel Edwards presence outside in the hall.

I wanted to open the door and look at him again. His face…his eyes and his mouth… everything about him made me feel…What?

What am I doing? Why am I thinking this?

He killed me. He ruined everything. Edward Cullen is my enemy.

Or at least, he's supposed to be. _Right?_

**A/N OKay, so that was chapter 8. i hope you like it. Reviews please..I want to know how I'm doing. Thanks for the reviews that I have gotten already. :)**


	9. And I smiled

I watched the rain fall noisily outside the window all night.

I spent time counting the drops that hit the window until I got bored enough to get up and go down stairs.

I walked at human pace, missing it.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and sensed the house was empty.

I walked through the unused kitchen and opened their fridge to find it empty.

I opened cabinets and draws and found nothing edible. Unused silverware for show.

Not that anyone comes around here to show for…

I sighed and went to the front door to walk around in the rain or something, and saw the doorknob start to turn so I backed up for room.

Edward walked in and stopped with the door half way open and looked at me.

"Sorry," and he opened the door to let me out.

Sorry for what I thought. If I had a heart it would have stopped from his breathtaking beauty.

He has glistening rain droplets on his hair and his skin was gleaming from the dampness.

His shirt clung to his muscular arms and chest and I would of passed out, if I could have.

"I wasn't going anywhere…I-I-I was just looking around." I stuttered.

He shut the door. We stood there awkwardly for a moment.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to leave but I just stood there looking dumb, I'm sure, trying not to stare.

Eventually, he walked to the living room and sat down.

He sighed and put his head back with his eyes closed.

I watched him sit very still, like a statue.

A beautiful, perfect statue…who was in pain.

I made my way into the living room and sat on a chair across from the couch.

I didn't know what I was doing.

I knew I should hate him.

Or at least I thought I should.

But I felt like I was connected to him somehow.

When I sensed or could clearly see he was in pain, I felt it too. I sat there thinking about what I was doing and finally just said something.

"Bad day?" I asked.

Edward lifted his head and looked at me.

"I thought you hated me.." he replied.

"That didn't answer my question," and I turned to look out the window.

I could feel his eyes on my face. Studying me again. I looked at him waiting for his answer.

"I don't know.." he started.

His face showed that pain again and I just looked at him, my face softening.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. There isn't really anything I can do actually. Bella, you don't understand how sorry I am for ruining your life. I hate myself more than anything in this whole universe, more than the horrible creatures I've seen the last 100 years. If I could-If I can make it up to you in anyway possible.. Please tell me. . Anything Bella…I will owe you forever, literally.." he trailed off.

I watched his face and felt myself melting away inside.

I could no longer hold the hard mask I've been wearing these couple of weeks.

I bent my head down and looked at the ground.

If I could have, I think I would have felt a tear slide down my face. I made pretend that there was, so I could just feel a little bit alive.

I shook my head and hesitated…I didn't know really, what to say to him.

He looked so sad…so broken.

I lifted my head and looked at his face.

"I don't hate you, I'm not even mad at you," I stopped and watched his reaction. He looked stunned and confused and then mad.

I started again before he could respond.

"I was. But, I don't know how to explain it. I feel like I belong here now. I put on a angry face because I thought that I was suppose to feel that way, that it wasn't natural to accept it so…quickly. But I guess nothing natural can be associated with us now."

I watched his face flicker through several emotions.

I waited for him to say something but it looked as though he was speechless.

I stood up and went to turn when he was suddenly in front of me.

I took a step back, surprised.

"I don't believe you. I don't want you to feel bad because of how I feel, you obviously don't grasp the fact that I _killed you Bella. I'm a murderer."_ he said.

I shook my head slowly and smiled half heartedly.

"No, Edward, you just gave me a new life. Rebirth."

I realized that I was touching his arm while I spoke.

I quickly returned my arm to my side but Edward took my hand.

"I really hope I can understand you better later…I mean, if you decide to stay with us."

I could barely think from the touch of his hand.

I managed to spit out, "I cant imagine myself away from _you_-I mean, this _family_. I want to be here."

I gently pulled my hand back and used my new speed to get back to my room.

I leaned against the back of my door and let out a big gust of air.

I was holding my breath…I walked toward the window and saw Edward standing in the rain outside the front of the house.

Edward Cullen was one beautiful creature.

I sighed and smiled, remembering his touch.

**A/N Sorry for the delay, I hoped you liked this chapter. Obviously theres going to be alittle more Bella/Edward moments.. so.. be patient. Reviews pleasee..**


	10. UPDATED about the email

**_Dear fanfic readers of mine. I apologize greatly for the long long long delay for the new chapters._ Life is hectic with school and family things. Not too long ago i posted a completely original beginning of a story here on the site for you guys to review. apparently someone doesnt appreciate it. and left me the following message.**

_Wow, are you an idiot or something? Or just so self-absorbed you think you can post your original writings on this site? See, this site is called "fanfiction", correct? Fanfiction is Fiction about a fandom by a fan. This crap you posted is not. Do you think you are so special that you can break rules? Well, honey bunches, you aren't. You are just a wannabe author who isn't even smart enough to find the proper site…even though there are links for it on THIS site. You really are an idiot, aren't you? Anyway, stop being a spoiled, stupid brat and move this over to fictionpress(dot)com or some other original writing site that caters to idiots like you. Delete it off here, before the admin do. Love, Tersa_

**UPDATE: THANKS FOR THE SUPPORTIVE COMMENTS AND SUCH. JUST TO CLEAR UP SOME MISUNDERSTANDING. This girl didn't write that message towards my twilight fanfic she wrote it to an original peice i posted a few months ago. its about a paragraph and i put it in miscellaneous because i was told i was allowed to do that. she sent me that message referring to that peice of writing i did. . i was not aware there was a severe rule against posting original pieces.. I decided to post it here in the twilight chapter because i felt i had more views here and that you guys would back me up. i plan on taking down the peice in case of further harrassment. if anyone could report her if they know how for me her username is the following: **From: Tersa InsaneWithSanity ( /u/1430164/ )

thanks again for all the support im trying to write. again life is really crazy right now im sure most of you can understand.

-- AL


	11. Intense

Not one second went by this week without Edward in my thoughts.

It was a slow week I guess.

Alice and Esme finally took me hunting again. This time for bigger game. I felt my power again. The shield, it came when I looked up and saw a bear charging towards me. I don't know how it happened.

All I remember was this huge force bubbling up from my feet to my arms and head and then out of nowhere, an invisible shield bombarded the bear at least a hundred feet back. It happened again whenever I felt threatened during feeding.

Maybe that's the only time it works. I still have to get the hang of it and figure it out.

I was bored. And tired.

Mentally, I suppose it is impossible for a vampire to be physically tired. Vampire. Vampire. I am a vampire.

I don't think I will ever get used to the name.

I fought the sadness I felt when I thought of Rene'. My poor mom, thinking I am dead. Maybe someday I can go back. Make a story up about a kidnapping, or I ran away. Something, anything, to see her face again.

I hadn't seen Edward in days and it was tearing me up inside.

The smallest sound I would turn in hope but bombarded with a severe disappointment that it wasn't Edward. I wanted to feel his hand in mine again, I wanted to study his emotions as they all flickered across his face at once. I wanted to erase his guilt and pain. I wanted to smell his sweet skin and taste his perfect lips.

I couldn't believe what had become of me. I mean, any sane person, no, being, would run from him. Hide. Anything but what I was feeling. It was like I was attached to him. Some invisible string strung between us pulling me in to him.

I watched my new family go about their days, routines I have not yet familiarized with yet. I spent most of the time sitting on the couch staring at the television. I never really watched it before, but I didn't know what else to do seeing that I couldn't leave the area.

I was absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed a figure sinking that down the cushion next to me.

"Hello," Edward said. I whipped my head to the side caught off guard. "I didn't see you there," laughed, embarrassed..

"I didn't mean to startle you…" he said with a smirk. I smiled and looked down towards the floor, thinking that if I had had a heart, he would hear it pounding furiously.

"How are you?" he asked looking me straight in the eyes.

I had to look down at the floor, feeling…nervous. "Very well, thank you. Yourself?"

"Great actually. I spent the week traveling up and down the Pacific Coast. I just felt drawn to the ocean. It was refreshing," he explained.

We sat silent for minutes, I turned back to the television, usually feeling perfectly comfortable in silence, I was suddenly feeling a bit insecure. I can't explain these emotions, even to myself. The cravings, the nerves, insecurities. He made me feel light and floaty. I refused to think of THAT word…I hardly knew him.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

My thought process was thrown off and I looked at him. "huh?" I stupidly replied.

"Do you want to go for a walk?' he repeated.

"Yeah, okay."

We stood up and he held the door open for me to go first. We walked across his hard and he grabbed my hand. "Lets run." he looked excited and I couldn't help but to smile. I held my other arm out and said, "Show the way."

And we ran. We ran for minutes, or hours or it could have been days.

The only thing I was noticing was how wonderful it felt to hold his hand.

I would look up at his glorious face being careful not to stare.

But most of the time I kept my eyes on the ground being careful not to trip. It was becoming to good to be true to be as graceful as I was.

When we stopped my breath was heavy although I didn't really need it. Another habit I must learn to break.

I looked out at where we were and I stopped breathing all together. I didn't want to disturb anything. It was too beautiful.

I looked at the meadow filled with flowers and soft grass. I felt my hand being dropped and my face must have changed because Edward asked, "What's wrong?"

I looked up and brightened quickly.

"Oh, nothing. This is beautiful Edward. Where are we? How did you find this place?"

Edward walked out to the center of the meadow and walked in circles.

"I don't know. I was just wandering and I found it. I come here when I want to be alone or when the sun is out. It's a place where I can be truly free."

I watched him lay down on his back. For a few minutes we both didn't move. I was still at the edge of the meadow when he lifted his head up and looked at me.

"Come on Bella." And he patted the space next to him.

I walked on over and slowly brought myself to the ground.

I lay on back and watched the sky with him. I turned my head toward his and looked over his perfectly defined face.

How his shirt clung to his arms and chest and the perfect curve of his mouth. I wanted so badly to touch him.

His hand, his face. He turned his head and looked into my eyes.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," I replied.

Edward looked back up at the sky and I turned my head fighting the non-existent butterflies all over my body.

Holy crow. That was intense.

It probably meant nothing to him though. He wasn't staring at a devastatingly beautiful face or falling in…love.

Before I could become completely disappointed though, I felt his hand curl over mine.

Our fingers intertwined.

And I swear I could see his lip curve into a smile, as I watched the dreary clouds above.

**A/N Finally, right? Sorry it took so long. Sorry its so short. I really am sorry my chapters are short. I need to change that. I really hope you stick with me. Thank you for the support. All of it. Love you all. 3 r&r-- Al**


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